Rejection has played a large part in shaping my life situation into one that I am very thankful. I was not thankful for the rejection when it occurred, and there was temptation to deal with it in ways that were unhealthy. But I thank God that He walked me through those challenges to where I am today. We all have and will continue to face rejection, but it is how we handle it that will shape our life situation. This message addresses the issue of thriving in your imperfect place by properly dealing with rejection. The text for this message as we finish this series is found in 1 Samuel 8.
By the time we reach this text, the Israelites had suffered at the hands of poor leaders like Eli and his sons. Therefore, they were rejecting the good leadership of Samuel and God. As many of us would, Samuel was experiencing this rejection on a personal and spiritual level. However, God came along side Samuel helping him to not take the rejection too personally. Based upon the rejection experienced by Samuel in this text, I want to address avoiding the dangers of improperly dealing with rejection.
First, improperly dealing with rejection disrupts the safety of community. God created us to live in the safety of community. For the safety of community real reasons for rejection exist. For example, Proverbs 22:10 states, “Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.” Our brokenness and the brokenness of our community keeps us from getting this 100% right. In our attempts to get this right, we as a church may welcome any and all to attend but not all should be allowed to serve as leaders. For the sake of the community, we must work hard to understand the Lord’s will concerning who is called to lead.
Secondly, improperly dealing with rejection causes us to become overly self-critical. Psychologist Guy Winch believes “the greatest damage rejection causes, is usually self-inflicted because we usually become overly self-critical”. Life then becomes a battle of being overly self-critical verses understanding the need for personal growth. When we are in this position we must learn to understand our value that makes improvement worthy of the effort. Learning to understand this requires getting connected with emotionally and spiritually healthy people.
Secondly, improperly dealing with rejection causes us to become overly self-critical. Psychologist Guy Winch believes “the greatest damage rejection causes, is usually self-inflicted because we usually become overly self-critical”. Life then becomes a battle of being overly self-critical verses understanding the need for personal growth. When we are in this position we must learn to understand our value that makes improvement worthy of the effort. Learning to understand this requires getting connected with emotionally and spiritually healthy people.
With these two ideas in mind, the personal challenge becomes, to deal with the dangers of rejection by embracing the reality that God understands your heart unlike all others. Read the account of how God leads Samuel to select David as Israel’s second king in 1 Samuel 16. The key verses here are 6 and 7. Here we read, “when they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, "Surely the LORD's anointed is before him." 7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart."
This same passage presents a corporate challenge to our church. The challenge is to deal with the dangers of rejection as a church. At times, we may have to reject our own initial reactions and replace them with God’s. Samuel had to reject his initial understanding of God’s will for the real one. Sometimes who we think should serve in leadership is not God’s choice. May we continually be checking for God’s will as to who shall lead His church.
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